There it is. Those two bright pink lines staring back at you as you try to process the shock of what the rest of your life will bring. Maybe this pregnancy was completely unexpected and you are left with terror mixed with a little bit of excitement. Or maybe this was planned. After months or years of trying you finally got that second line. You are filled with disbelief and gratefulness, shaking because you’ve finally been blessed with a child. The next few days are spent peeing on more pregnancy tests–just to make sure that line is still there. Once the initial awe of this new journey wears off, you are left with the effects of the first trimester or what I like to call the worst trimester.
Now maybe you are one of those women that have amazing easy pregnancies. If you are, just know that I completely envy you. I can assure you that women that have difficult pregnancies are not over exaggerating to any extent.
First, comes worry. The worry is definitely heightened if you’ve lost a baby in the past. It’s a countdown to see if you can pass the date that you miscarried last time. If you haven’t lost a baby, the worry is still there. Every ache, cramp, lack of symptoms, too many symptoms sends us off to Dr. Google. Google never has good outcomes or advice when it comes to medical problems, ever. But then you finally make it to that first ultrasound. You get to see that sweet little gummy bear baby wiggling on the screen, heartbeat pounding away. And the worry is gone, for a few days anyway.
Then comes the morning sickness. Morning sickness feels a lot like the worst flu you’ve ever had in your life and it lasts for about four months straight. You have constipation and at the same time you have diarrhea, you’d think it’s impossible, but nothing’s impossible in pregnancy.
You start your day with a nice thorough vomit. Usually in a trashcan by the bed because the room is spinning too hard to find your way to the bathroom. Then it’s time to eat–nothing sounds good. Everything will send you back to the bathroom. That is until someone shares a food picture on Instagram. Then you have to have it. It doesn’t matter if its 7am, you are going to get a steak and potatoes with some ice cream on the side. Because you are too sick to get it yourself, you spend 30 minutes begging someone else to bring it to you. Finally, someone agrees. You sit down and take a bite just to realize you don’t want it and you are back in the bathroom.
You spend the rest of your day lying on the couch looking up what you can’t do or eat in pregnancy, morning sickness remedies that don’t work, baby names, and nursery ideas only to get up to pee and vomit every hour. Then you are sad because you swore you’d be more active this pregnancy. The baby weight was too hard to work off last time so you were going to keep up with cross fit this time. But you feel so terrible you can’t even get up to walk in a circle in your living room. Oh and the tiredness. You will never feel more tired in your life, well until the baby comes.
So now it’s time for another prenatal doctor’s appointment. The doctor is angry that you didn’t call earlier. So you are sent to the hospital for some IV fluids and prescription nausea medicine. You feel better for a day. Tomorrow it starts all over again.
But you know you will feel better soon and move onto another trimester, to be faced with new and different pregnancy ailments. Until then, just know you are not alone and this horrible trimester doesn’t last forever. Soon you will get to feel the baby kick, wear comfy stretchy pants all the time, and food will taste like you have food tasting superpowers. In just a short amount of time, You will get to hold that sweet baby you spent months dreaming about and it will all be worth it.