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The Age of Parenting: Which Avengers Hero Are You?

I love to get lost in a good Marvel movie. It’s fun to pretend that I’m just a gamma ray away from becoming something extraordinary. These characters are very different from me and my life of caring for children. Even if I was given superhuman skills tomorrow, I don’t think it would change my life. Superhero powers are virtually useless when changing diapers and feeding hungry mouths. In an unlikely alternate timeline, I imagine all our favorite superheroes a little more like me, preoccupied with children and family life. Love has transformed each of the Avengers into “regular” parents. Find yourself among the heroes.

Iron Man

“Following’s not really my style.”- Tony Stark


You live for wild nights away from the kids and crave the finer things in life. Self-care is a necessity. You indulge every new interest your children have, no matter how outlandish. Discipline isn’t your approach, you like them to learn from their mistakes. You diffuse breakdowns and disagreements with sharp wit and humor. Love is shown by teasing the ones you care the most about. Each child is a scientist learning cause and effect. They will blaze their way into the future without you micromanaging every little thing they do; You give them loose perimeters and wait to see how they turn out. You’re one step ahead because you’ve already made all the mistakes they can imagine. Plus, you have the latest electronics and will use them to keep an eye the little jerks.

The Incredible Hulk

“Hulk smash!”- Hulk


Your house is intense. No one knows how to do anything halfway in your family. Most of your time is spent trying to teach your kids how to control their strong emotions. You express yourself physically and rarely use words to describe the deep and enduring feelings that you all feel. Yelling is a legitimate form of communication and wrestling or an arm punch are understood displays of affection. Good food, intense competition, and overwhelming love keep your family an impenetrable unit. You can fight viciously with one another, but God help the person who goes against the family. You’ve all got each other’s back.

Captain America

“For as long as I can remember, I just wanted to do what was right.”- Steve Rogers


You lead by example, striving to do what is honorable and true. Your children have a strong moral compass and won’t back down from defending their ideals. Family dinners, church, and sports fuse your family together.  Local charities rely on you because you champion the weak and less fortunate. You are fiercely devoted to your friends and celebrate every holiday and birthday by throwing a BBQ. There is an American flag hanging on your porch because you know exactly what it represents. And none of you will allow bullying; It doesn’t happen on your watch.

Black Widow

“I’m always picking up after you boys.”- Natasha Romanoff


You are in control of everything in your home. The kids don’t know anything about what you’ve had to overcome in order to become their parent. You work hard and keep all the balls in the air, making it look effortless to those on the outside. Focused and intense, you are going to make sure your kids get the opportunities and support that you didn’t. Privacy is given but never guaranteed. It is your responsibility to read your kid’s diary and use apps to keep tabs on them, but they will never know. You can get your children out of trouble no matter what they get themselves into. Your family can trust you with anything. You are their best friend and fiercest defender.


“I choose to run towards my problems, and not away from them.”- Thor

Respect must be earned in your home. Punishment for disobedience is swift and just. The children work hard to meet your high expectations and they do it with pride.  You work hard to keep everyone’s mind and body in top condition. Your family only consumes organic, nutritionally dense food, because food is fuel. You rise early and actively seek new challenges because you aren’t satisfied unless you are setting and crushing goals. There is always something bigger and better to strive for. Second chances are given freely to those that you love and respect. Your enthusiasm and determination are an inspiration to others. You are always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and actively seek to draw out the best in others.


“But…a thing isn’t beautiful because it lasts.”- Vision


Life is a rare and beautiful thing. You encourage your children to search for truth and sincerity with gentleness and humility. They teach you how to see others with a genuine and optimistic spirit. Meticulous and perfectionistic in your pursuits, you carefully curate experiences, leading your children to the good and honorable path. Your home is in perfect order because visual chaos is distracting and overwhelming. Minimalism is prominent in your life because you love people over things. You are gullible because you prefer to trust and believe in your children rather than doubt them. Your thoughts are always waxing philosophical, making it difficult to relax and experience the moment.  There is no greater honor in the world than the title of parent.

Scarlet Witch

“I can handle this.”- Wanda Maximoff


You are the emotional center of your home. You are strong because you have been broken, the pieces of your soul glued into something harder and more beautiful. Life is messy and chaotic, but you know how to get everything important done. You parent your kids your way and balk at advice; Intuition helps you to determine exactly what they need. Your house may not be clean, but your children are fed, happy, and loved.  You manipulate your kids through psychology and good old-fashioned guilt when necessary. Your family is the most important part of life. You don’t like to ask for help but are always available to offer a hand to true friends.


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