Dear Moms Everywhere,
Mother’s Day is coming up and I know what you all are thinking … that you can’t wait for the one day out of the entire year where moms everywhere are celebrated. That’s right, we only get one day. The most important job in the world gets one day, that’s it.
If you’re lucky, you might get a homemade card or craft from your precious little darlings. Or maybe even a mumbled and barely audible “Happy Mother’s Day” from your ornery teenager. If you’re really lucky, you might get to sleep in until 7 am and get served a piece of stale toast in bed. And if you’re REALLY lucky, like spotting a unicorn lucky, you will wake up ALONE, in a hotel room, and get to order room service while watching chick flicks in bed all day.
I think we are all well aware of the fact that motherhood is the most thankless job on the planet. Rarely are the words “thank you” spoken to us. So, for those of us who will more than likely fall into the first two categories, I have decided to write you this letter as a thank you. For those of you who were lucky enough to have that unicorn experience, stop reading now—you already received your gift and I am just slightly jealous.
… to the mom who has mastered changing a poopy diaper anywhere, anytime and with minimal supplies.
… to the mom who is unfazed by the wrath of a toddler who is mad at you because you gave him what you thought was his favorite breakfast. Come to find out today he actually hates it.
… to the mom who was up all night with a puking kid — comforting them, holding their hair back, using up every clean towel in the house, all while trying to hide the fact that you are gagging because the smell of vomit is the worst smell in the world.
… to the mom who comes home from a stressful 10 hour work day, cooks dinner, helps with homework, attempts to spend some quality time with each of her kids, and not feel guilty for working.
… to the mom who stays home and would pay someone to come and hang out with her so she could have a conversation with someone other than a 2-year-old and a baby.
… to the mom who has been called the worst mother in the world for 3 days in a row by a tween who has a master’s degree in eye rolling.
… to the mom who buys Play-doh and actually lets her kids play with it.
… to the mom who has made numerous trips to school during the day to take a forgotten lunch, project or uniform that her irresponsible children forgot.
… to the mom who ends up sleeping on the edge of her bed with a corner of a blanket because at least 2 of her kids decide to come in her bed at 3 am.
… to the mom who would rather poke her eyes out than read Brown Bear, Brown Bear for the 1,000th time.
… to the mom who has ever had her child say something horrifically inappropriate to a stranger in public.
… to the mom who stayed up all night breastfeeding while her husband snored right next to her.
… to the mom who decided it was a good idea to read through her teenager’s text messages and is now scarred for life.
… to the mom who has to walk through Target with a screaming toddler because you thought you could push naptime up 30 minutes to finish your errands.
… to the mom who has mastered the art of cooking dinner in less than 20 minutes, with a baby on your hip, and a glass of wine in your hand.
… to the mom who pretends that she is interested in Minecraft.
And to the mom who makes it until 5 o’clock before she starts drinking . . . thank you.