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Are You Ready for Another Baby? Take This Quiz to Find Out

Do you know if you are ready for another child? Life with multiple kids is a series of split-second decisions. As a mother of four, I have become an expert in risk analysis. Take this quiz to help you determine if you are ready to add another beautiful baby to your family.

My oldest delightedly popping his two-day-old brother’s spit bubbles

Which child do you save?

A. The child who is playing with fire.
B. The child hanging from the ceiling fan.

baby

If you answered A: Wrong! The child playing with fire is next to flammable curtains and your living room is now on fire. Send the children to the safest exit and calmly dial 911.

If you answered B: Wrong! The child hanging from the ceiling fan couldn’t hang on any longer and now has a concussion and a broken arm. Head directly to the emergency room and prepare to empty your savings account.

Which child do you save?

A. The child eating an apple.
B. The child eating a hot dog.

baby

If you answered A: Wrong! Your child is now choking on a large piece of apple. Perform the Heimlich. You are not yet safe. Apples are one of the most highly contaminated crops when it comes to pesticides. Since you did not buy organic, your child will now suffer the risk of a lower IQ, developmental delays, a higher risk of autism, ADHD, and cancer. 

If you answered B: Wrong! Your child is now choking on a large piece of hot dog. Perform the Heimlich. You are not yet safe. Hot dogs are delicious. Your child has discovered the ambrosia of fat and salt. They will refuse to eat any other foods at this point. Also, hot dogs are linked to an increased risk of type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, cancer and higher mortality.

Which child do you save?

A. The child who is petting a strange dog.
B. The child running toward the road.

baby

If you answered A: Wrong! The dog was friendly but licked your baby in the face. You have now put your child at risk of Capnocytophaga Canimorsus, MRSA, and ringworm. You have also inadvertently adopted a stray dog that will cost you hundreds in veterinarian bills.

If you answered B: Wrong! While the oncoming car stopped 20 feet in front of your baby, your child still managed to trip over the curb and fall on their face. They are now covered in scrapes and are crying uncontrollably. They will have scars for life to remind them of this day in which you did not save them.

Which child do you save?

A. The child watching The Walking Dead.
B. The child who just entered “fuzzy beaver” into the Google search bar for their biology report.

If you answered A: Wrong! Your child has now been exposed to horrific images they will never forget. You will be awake for the next three weeks as a result of recurrent nightmares. Unfortunately, they will still be sleeping in your bed between you and your husband when they are in high school.

If you answered B: Wrong! Your child has just discovered all of the mysteries of sex. You will now be forced to discuss the birds and the bees with your precious and innocent child. Your overreaction will scar your child for life and they will never have a healthy view of sex.

Which child do you save?

A. The child cutting their own hair.
B. The child eating dog food.

If you answered A: Wrong! The child cutting her hair has given herself a reverse Mohawk. She will be subjected to relentless teasing at school and will develop a strong personal style that rivals The People of Walmart.

If you answered B: Wrong! The child eating dog food will have a terrible stomach ache and toxic gas that smells of rotting flesh and the sulfur of hell. You are not yet safe. Dry dog and cat food may contain salmonella. 

I had 3 more! image by Megan Soto Photography.

You will never be ready or prepared for this unbelievable challenge. You are not going to make the right decisions all the time. And, you will make so many wrong decisions that you will question your right to be a parent. But that’s not what makes you ready.

If you want another child, you are ready.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant with another baby, you are ready.

If you are planning to adopt a child, you are ready.

You don’t need to have any of the right answers. All you need is an open heart, a desire to do your best, and an unfailing determination to protect your babies.

You’ve got this! Now go add that baby with confidence.

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