Dear Girls Boobs Nursies Nummies Breasts,
Hi. This is awkward. It’s been a while since we talked… 36-year-old Mama’s of seven children don’t usually sit around thinking about breasts anymore. I didn’t mean to leave you hangin’, it’s just that the only time we’ve had together, my eyes have been fixed on my babies, not you. I feel bad about it, so I thought I’d write a letter of apology to you. Sorry to ignore you.
Peacemaker Ministries says that just saying “sorry” isn’t a very good apology. They say that I should “admit specifically”… I figure they’re the experts so I’ll give it a try. What follows is my specific apology.
I’m sorry that you’ve been neglected. While our “thirty something” friends were being pampered with mud masks and seaweed wraps, the only thing you were wrapped in were cabbage leaves that time I had mastitis. Spa days? We could technically say that every 2 hours you get a “milk treatment” but that’s a bit of a stretch.
All that stretching led to almost as much tenderness as the mastitis. I’m sorry you’ve had to endure years of little piggies nursing all night long. But, honestly, that left both of us pretty tender at times, so we’re at least on the same page there. It seems the only one not on the same page some nights was hubby. “Snuggle time” after being sucked dry for 20 minutes? Really?
Speaking of hubby, I’m sorry about that time we went on a date and left the baby with the sitter for 5 hours… believe me when I say it hurt me more than it hurt you. And that leads me to another apology…
I’m sorry that I embarrassed you. Instead of the admiring gazes you were used to, all the stares were because another baby started crying and dark, wet circles spread across my shirt.
And one more from the same night… I’m sorry that I abandoned high fashion for nursing bras. The stupid nursing pads don’t stop these leaks so why’d I bother!?! You know there is no such thing as a sexy nursing bra, no matter how much itchy lace they stitch on the things, and there is no such thing as a leak-proof nursing pad. Marketing department won in spite of the testing department’s warnings on that one, I’m pretty sure.
On the bright side, I think you’ve grown much closer to the earth than back when every bra had to be push-up, and shirts were cut low. On the not-so-bright-side, you have quite literally grown closer to earth. Is it caused by gravity? Nursing? Both? Again, sorry.
My cousin mentioned implants to fix this problem, but then hubby & I decided to have another baby. So implants were no longer needed… we both know that you really do look great when we’re nursing… but at some point, we’ve got to stop nursing. And after nursing? Gravity again. My friend Julie says hers look like “Tube socks with rocks in the end.” LOL Maybe tube socks will come back in style again.
Until I sat down to write this letter to you, my breasts, I never strung together all of the injustices you’ve suffered. Why? Because I’ve been busy nurturing lives from sweet, precious, dependent infancy into beautiful, wild childhood. I guess when I chose to lay down my easily-controlled, orderly, perfect life for my children, I chose for you to lay down your dreams to always be perfect, perky and pretty too.
The more I think about it, the stretch marks I see where firm, smooth skin once peeked don’t bother me at all. They actually make me feel strength because I gave my best to those I love most. Maybe I should buy that cheesy t-shirt, “I make babies, what’s YOUR superpower?!”
When I wake up early in the morning and bring my cuddly little guy to bed, I hope you, breasts who are older and wiser, will enjoy the embrace of a little man-to-be. You’ll be wrapped in love and appreciated more than any perfect set on a Jax Beach summer afternoon. You give life, love, and comfort. You are perfect.