I LOVE summer. I love late, lazy nights, watermelon and ice cream for dinner and anything near the water. What I don’t love is having to squeeze my NOT size 2 rear-end into all those cute summer outfits! I didn’t lose the winter padding as planned and am faced with figuring out how to dress for summer. All while still feeling and looking “cute” in 90-degree temps. So, I decided to embrace my butt the way it is, and find some summer basics that don’t scream Soccer Mom stuck in 1998.
My number one essential item every momma should splurge on for the summer is a good strapless bra. Any size momma can ROCK a cute strapless/strappy tank or sundress, but the key is keeping the “girls” where they belong. Fork over the cash, and have a person properly fit you for a strapless bra. Seriously ladies, there is nothing worse than finding that super cute outfit and then having your tatas sag below your waistline.
Ok, now onto my favs for surviving the heat and keeping current. Notice I said current. Current is different that pretending you are 15 when you are 35. I would love to pull off a romper that shows just a hint of butt-cheek or a super strappy low-cut tank with no bra. But, truth is I’m too old for that and so are you (that is if you are older than 30). Save the comments–I’ve heard them all. Just trust me and Google what not to wear after age 30. Also, no more tube tops or platform flip flops. Just thought I throw that out there while I am offending everyone since both are just bad fashion in general.
Without further rant, here are the rest of my top summer picks…
I don’t care if you are 5’2″ or 6’2″, the right long dress looks classy, cool and stunning on any body type. If you are on the short side, you are probably already well acquainted with a good tailor, so don’t shy away from the perfect dress because it is too long. Get that beauty hemmed and rock it! Here are a few pointers on maxi dresses. Stay away from those super loud print dresses–they just make people dizzy. If it looks remotely like a dress your mom rocked in the 70s, put it back on the hanger, please. Beware of stripes, particularly horizontal ones. Smaller stripes are usually the most flattering. Go for a higher neckline to elongate your torso or a low back to add some sex appeal.
Yes, I said prompers! This is a pants romper or a fashionable onsie for women. I have to admit, the one piece pantsuit ensemble made me laugh too at first. But, then I tried a couple on and realized the right promper had a similar effect to its stylish cousin the maxi dress. It hides a multitude of flaws and falls into the fun and current category. While I typically try to wear less black in the summer, this is an exception to the rule. It’s a funky twist on the little black dress – perfect for summer evening events requiring something a little more formal than a sundress. Sleeveless options are really not any hotter than a long dress. Add some fun kitten heels in a bright color and a chunky necklace to complete your look.
By far, sundresses are my favorite and easiest choice to wear all summer long! There is something about a sundress that makes you feel pretty and carefree while keeping you cool. Many styles are perfect for playdates and date nights. However, there are still guidelines. Keep the length closer to the knee than your crack. Make sure your undergarments are doing their job of holding everything in place. Go for bright fun patterns or even florals. High necks, v-necks, wrap dresses, strappy dresses are all great – as long as they fit well. Don’t get hung up on the number printed on the dress and buy the size that fits best. You want to be comfortable, not squeezing into something uncomfortable and unflattering. Remember, every brand is different, and that means it’s sized differently too.
UUUGGGHHHH, my nemesis! Between the eternal wedgies and battle of too long or too short, the search for the perfect pair of shorts makes me want to cry, literally. The best approach to this is to have at least one margarita before you go shopping. When you find a pair that actually fit buy them in every color! Then, drink another margarita to celebrate! Length is key here ladies, daisey dukes are a definite don’t and Bermuda shorts should be left in Bermuda. Aim for shorts long enough to bend over at the playground without getting arrested for indecent exposure, but short enough look like you did not borrow them from your grandma. Thickness of material is also important. Ensure the material is good enough to hide dimples and divots without being too hot. I recommend Gap or Old Navy for the basics since they carry a variety sizes and styles suited to lots of body types. Again, don’t be afraid to use a tailor. It’s usually not very expensive and most often with shorts it’s the waist that needs to be taken in to get the right fit in the hips.
Whether you are wearing a fierce promper or a sassy sundress, take a deep breath and embrace yourself as the summertime beauty you are!