I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. When she entered the world, her father chose to cut the cord and quickly took her into his arms for skin-to-skin bonding. Both her fathers embraced her as their long wait for her arrival had finally come to an end. They had become a complete family at last. Then, they turned towards me so they could introduce me to their new baby girl.
I am a surrogate mother, and I have been fortunate enough to deliver two healthy children for this amazing couple.
My journey began 4 years ago when I decided to become a surrogate. Many people ask me what made me become a surrogate mother, but it was an easy decision for me. I knew I wanted to help another couple experience that moment when you hold your child in your arms for the first time. I enjoyed my pregnancy with my son. I had very little symptoms, and his birth was pretty easy. My husband and I were not ready for more children of our own yet so why not help someone else in the meantime?
I researched egg donation at first, but I decided that it wasn’t something that I felt comfortable doing. Surrogacy was the right fit for me. As a gestational surrogate, I wouldn’t use my own eggs for the process. Instead, the Intended Parents (the couple wanting a child) would use their own eggs or the eggs of a donor.
After a few interviews, I was quickly matched with a couple from overseas. Next, there were the checkups, drug tests, psych evaluations, and the medications.
I had not done my research well enough though as I am/ was deathly afraid of needles.
…Daily injections in the stomach and in the rump.
…Constant blood tests.
I had signed up for much more than I had bargained for but it was too late to back out now. I was committed. I promised this wonderful couple a child, and I was going to deliver… literally.
That entire struggle paid off when we had a successful transfer on the first try. I was pregnant, and it was a boy. My pregnancy was healthy and other than some horrible acid reflux and spontaneous vomiting, pretty uneventful. The birth was very exciting for everyone as my Intended Parents arrived into town early so they wouldn’t miss a thing. I was in labor for about 4 hours from start to finish. My husband took pictures of them holding their newborn baby for the first time. It was such a beautiful moment.
It didn’t take long before they asked if I would do them the honor of being their surrogate for a sibling journey. And I was happy to, of course.
Giving them a second child would not be such an easy task as it turns out though. We had several transfers that did not result in pregnancy, a transfer that was successful but ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks, and I had to take a break so I could have a massive cyst surgically removed from my ovary.
We were down to the last two eggs and decided to transfer both together in one final attempt for a sibling. The transfer was a success, but we still didn’t want to get our hopes up. We wouldn’t fully accept it when I was released to my regular doctor at 11 weeks. At the 22 week ultrasound, the baby was still doing well even though it refused to reveal its gender. We were finally able to relax and accept that we were really having this baby.
My Intended Parents flew into town around 38 weeks and just in time because I went into labor a week later. I had another quick labor of 3 hours, and my husband held my hand through it all. It was a girl! A gorgeous, healthy baby girl to complete their family.
Being able to give the gift of two sweet children to a loving couple was such a rewarding experience that I will cherish forever. I learned a lot from the process as well. Like pregnancy is not as easy as my first one led me to believe. But most importantly, I learned a lot about how many options women have available to them that I never knew about. I will remember these lessons when I am ready to add to my family again.