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Amnesia Mom

Lena

Amnesia mom is a term I’ve created for the mom whose kids are grown and who has seemingly forgotten what life is like with babies and toddlers. You likely run into her in the line at the grocery store, “They are so cute! I remember when my kids were that little! Enjoy every minute it goes by too soon!”

I’m sure amnesia mom is an evolutionary must for the continuation of our species & one day I too will likely forget many of the things that pain my day to day. But today? Those comments evoke a combination of guilt for not enjoying this stage more and rage at her lack of understanding.

I am still in the weeds with three young children and all too aware of the daily grind. They say scent is the strongest sense tied to memory. Perhaps a whiff of this phase will bring the reality of this stage back to the forefront: Urine.

Yes- urine. From diapers, to kids peeing the bed, to the dogs having accidents because I’m too busy cleaning human urine to actually walk them – this horrid stench burns my nostrils daily. Please tell me- how does one learn to enjoy the smell of urine? It’s impossible that this will go by ‘too soon’ based on the fact that I’m still living it.

Another thing amnesia mom seems to forget? Car seats. It’s not enjoyable buckling children in and out of the dang things every single time you need to run the smallest of errands. I don’t care how much of a super mom you are- car seats suck. Oh how I dream of the days when they can get in and out of the car on their own.

Maybe she’s forgotten how fun tantrums are. I mean what’s not to love about a child throwing themselves on the ground kicking and screaming at the top of their lungs because they have the hiccups? The only thing that could make it any more fun is another small child wandering off while you tend to the original child who is screaming on the floor.

I am sure I will desperately miss when I can’t scoop my kids up and cuddle them. But when you haven’t slept a full night in years it’s generally hard to function, much less stay chipper all the time.

I remember in high school people telling me “these are the best years of your life! Live it up while you can!” Same sentiment in college. I’ve come to the conclusion that the best years are the ones we’ve already survived and aren’t currently dealing with. Hindsight is funny that way.

So no – I don’t enjoy every second of this stage. Not at all. And whether they remember correctly or not, I am positive that the moms before me didn’t either.

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2 Responses to Amnesia Mom

  1. Ruby July 1, 2016 at 11:05 am #

    Yes we tend to forget the drudgery associated with raising another human being. However, for this great grandma, that drudgery fades with the sheer, over-the-top joy of having children! So I agree with the amnesia moms in the grocery line and in the park to a certain extent. Yes, I agree with the humor in the passing remark, “They are so cute! I remember when my kids were that little! Enjoy every minute it goes by too soon!”
    However, all those minutes of urine, tantrums, and sleepless nights will fade into distant memory only to be replaced by preteen angst, teen drama, and the constant worry that your parenting will result in healthy, happy, well-rounded, independent, and kind adults.
    Then the most wonderful thing happen – you become a grandparent. That’s the cherry on top of the cake of parenting!

  2. Debra August 1, 2016 at 6:10 pm #

    This kind of rubbed me in a ” get over yourself, suck it up butter cup “kind of way. As someone who would probably make that comment about enjoy them because they grow up so fast, we only make that statement because we have not forgot about the struggles of raising young children and we wished we would of let the smaller things go and just enjoyed more moments. You would do well from listening to the wisdom of someone who has been there.